How did I come to know about Christ? Having enrolled into a Christian school (KCPPS), they always have a chapel service as part of their school curriculum programme. So the name Jesus is definitely not strange to me because during chapel, we always hear from (Uncle) Stanley and Reverend Goh preaching about this man. But I only know Him as a man on the cross, but nothing else. I was interested in knowing Jesus even back when I was a primary school kid. In fact I thought it was a cool thing being a Christian, since many of my friends were already attending their respective churches.
So I joined Living Praise when I was in primary 6 (end of primary 6 to be more specific). Together with another friend, we were both invited by my neighbour to the Primary 6 BBQ (the same one that they have now to celebrate the P6 kids transiting to youths). Shortly after when I was Secondary 1, I joined the Boys’ Brigade. It was a Christian CCA and attending church was a crucial component for promotion hence I was in a way “forced by circumstances” to attend church service.
I couldn’t exactly remember the exact details of my youth days in LPPC. All I remembered was that I wasn’t taking this whole relationship with Christ seriously. On top of that, by the time I transited from secondary school to polytechnic, I was the only one left from my batch who remained in Living Praise. What made things worse is that friendship cliques were already formed and I couldn’t fit in. Which was rather funny because most people regarded me as an extroverted and friendly individual who can hit it off with almost anyone. But somehow in Living Praise, I wasn’t on the same frequency with my peers, or rather the people who remained in LP. I really felt alone and the whole idea of fellowshipping with my brothers and sisters just seemed so inconceivable at that point of time.
Slowly, I found myself often blaming God for every disappointment in my life. Whether it was getting horrible polytechnic results for every semester or finding out that the girl that I had feelings for didn’t feel the same way towards me, God somehow was to be blamed. Eventually, I back-slided and found myself unmotivated to come to church.
When I did come to church, it was more to ‘fulfill my Christian duties’ just to make myself feel better. I would come in through the side door, and leave immediately after service because I know that people like Stanley would be around and when he sees me, he will definitely ‘catch’ me to find out more about what’s going on with my life. At that point, I didn’t really want to talk to him or having to explain what I am going through (maybe because I wasn’t exactly sure myself), so I did the only thing that I knew to handle confrontational situations like this – run and hide.
My time in national service didn’t help either. There were trying times when the people that I deemed as “bad people” because I didn’t approve or agree with the things that they did, seemed to prevail. I asked God why He allowed evil to triumph. I know I sound really self-righteous here but in the army, I thought that I met the vilest person that I have ever known.
At this point of time when it comes to sharing their testimonies, most people will be sharing about a major turning point in their lives such as a loved one being brought back to life from the brink of death or something. But not me. God didn’t come down like a knight in shining armour and take away all my problems. Instead, it’s the little things in my life that helps me to see God’s kindness and mercies.
Slowly, I believe God spoke to me over time and softened my heart. It’s like He was telling me to go back to Him. So when I eventually did by attending church regularly about 2-3 years ago, I made a promise to Him that regardless of how negative the situations in my life will be, I will never run away from Him again. Instead, I will come to Him and share my burdens with Him.
I believe that God brought my spiritual life back on track for a reason. And that’s why I started to serve in Sunday School, because I know I have a heart to reach out to kids. I pray that I will be able to make an impact on the little ones and glorify His name, teaching the love of Jesus in Sunday School.