I was raised in a strict Taoist family and taught when I was young to perform religious rituals such as the burning of joss paper and the preparation of food set out as a sacrifice to the spirits of the deceased and for worshipping the Chinese gods.
My first experiences with Christianity were through secondary school friends who shared with me about Jesus, but I did not give much thought to them.
I found God when I married Alvin, a Christian. We were unequally yoked, and I did not understand how it could be wrong. Thankfully, Alvin was not drawn away from God, nor allowed our relationship to influence his Christian beliefs. He would not participate in any religious practice or idol worship which challenged his Christian beliefs.
Alvin brought me to LPPC. As a member of KPC, he was familiar with LPPC when Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Secondary School was relocated to Bishan and members of KPC began a small congregation here. Also, we live in Toa Payoh and have friends here.
However, my life was mostly centred around work and we attended church and prayed infrequently, giving in to lousy excuses such as work, family commitments, or simply laziness. While I believed in Christianity, my upbringing in a Taoist family drew me away from having a meaningful relationship with God.
All this while, God had continued to bless me with what I had but I did not remember God much and took all these things for granted. But God doesn’t work that way. I didn’t realise what I had until things started happening to me.
Alvin became sick and was hospitalized. I was scared, confused and lost. However, God raised an army of warriors which included Christian family members, friends, colleagues, acquaintances (and people whom I don’t even know!) to give me the hope and strength that got me through these darkest moments. It was during this period that I began reading the Bible and praying to God every day. During this process of getting closely acquainted with God, a wonderful love for Jesus welled up in me. I was visited by Jesus often, during prayers, while reading His word and receiving assuring signs. God loved me so much more deeply than I could understand. From here on, my life was turned around – I understood He was willing to die for me and I could be adopted into His family.
I realised that during this episode, I did not feel despair in the battle of illness and I could still experience joy. Jeremiah 29:11-14a is very meaningful to me:
‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’
I am immensely thankful to God with all my heart, and I want this testimony to be a gift to God. He pursued me for years and now I am glad to profess that I can be faithful to Him forever.
I realise the three most important things I need to know:
- God is real and living
- This Living God is none other than Jesus Christ
- When I did not know Him, He loved me enough to come in search of me and rescue me from darkness.